Stupidly Idealistic

Yesterday was my mom and dad's anniversary. 34 years of marriage! The whole family went to church together (which could be a whole other blog post, but I'll spare everyone the usual ranting) and then drove downtown to this old "tea room", also known as a restaurant. We all packed in the family van on the way there, where my brother and I were in typical form by not getting them a card or anything, whereas my sister and her hubby were right on cue with a card and some restaurant gift cards. My mom always has to read greeting cards aloud, which can be quite annoying or hilarious, depending on your mood. So as she blabbed the words of Hallmark, I decided I would recite to her and my father an original greeting card message from the heart. It went something like this...

"Dear Mom and Dad,
Even with all the bickering, nagging, growling, and grinding of teeth you two have gone through in these many years, you must have done something right in all of it, because I still have this crazy desire to spend my life with someone. So thanks for staying together.
Love,
me"

Sweet card right? My brother followed with something equally clever and witty and probably funnier, but I still like mine the most.

I know love is probably written about more than any other subject in the world, but I think it's a lot simpler than anyone really cares to realize. It's all just a choice. Sure, there's attraction and infatuation and all that other crap that comes with romantic love, or common interests and sense of humor that comes with friendship, but the bottom line is we choose who we love. You don't have to love anyone. Plenty of people don't actually "love" their families. They just say it out of obligation, or in many instances never say it at all. I daresay that I don't actually "love" all my relatives. How could I when I don't even know them? I've chosen not to be a big part of their lives and they've done the same. It's not a big deal. Of course all this choice has to be mutual to really work, which I suppose is "the hard part".

My parents are constant proof that love is a lot simpler than so many people make it out to be. My grandparents the same; They recently celebrated 70 years together (I also forgot to give them a card). All they did was make a choice to be with the other person and one year after another rolled on by. I guess they just never got so caught up on all the other stuff; the "who am I" question, the "how can I forgive them" question, the "what are we" question, the "what do you believe" question, or the other fill-in-the-blank questions.

As the Avett Brothers say... "Decide what to be and go be it."

So I say to my friends, family, and random strangers out there...

Decide who to love and go love them

All Quiet

We've been busier than usual at the apartment; holding parties, movie nights, craft time. It's been a great couple of weeks with great friends, and as I look ahead to the next two weeks away from these people, I am reminded how crucial they are to my day to day life.

All that being said, today was a recharging day. I sat around on the couch fine-tuning my end of the year mix and eating whatever food was left in the fridge. I love these days and usually try to take a couple each week to stay balanced, but lately I haven't wanted to take as many. As I took Chester out on our walk around the block tonight, I was struck by the emptiness of our apartment and the surrounding streets. I'm sure the houses weren't as empty as they seemed, but it sure was quiet. The stillness of it all took me back to memories of living in Illinois and the solitude I experienced in North Georgia my first year teaching. Sometimes these memories can take me to the "dark side" - the sadness, the loneliness, the emptiness - all that crap. As weird as this may sound, I think extended periods of these feelings can lead to nostalgia. In both places (sometimes even in Athens), I used to go days without meaningful contact with people. The only conversations I had were the ones in my head and they weren't always cordial. You wouldn't think anyone would be nostalgic for those experiences, but when you consider the wide array of depressing music I own, you may be fooled.

As I reread some of what I just wrote, I hope it sort of makes sense, but my main point in writing all this is to say that I crave less of that "quiet time/dark side" these days, and I give all the credit to these friends of mine. I used to feel like I needed time away from people to keep from getting burned out on being social, but really, that's just because I've never had a circle of friends quite like this one. That's not to say I wouldn't want to add a few out-of-towners (perhaps from Texas) to the mix, or that newcomers aren't welcome, but I do want to say to TCH, LP, and the R brothers how much I appreciate your friendship and acceptance of everything "jim" this past year....


So please don't move...haha!

Let's Get Physical

Earlier today, I realized what was missing from my life. Sex. I had no idea. I always thought it was love, or intimacy, or something like that, but turns out it's just sex. Unadulterated sex. You think I'm joking, but it's true.

Everything I need is in my possession. I have an amazing circle of friends I can share anything with, I have a job that is fulfilling, I have an amazing family, a dog that's obsessed with me, a decent car, a great movie and music collection, I'm not fat, I'm not stupid, I have a macbook of course, and I have a roof over my head that is in walking distance to every place I want to go. So what's left?

Sex

The end.

How Easy We Forget

No, this is not a 9/11 post, but seriously...

I am struck with grief this morning and rather paralyzed with guilt. How do I get so stuck on myself when so many are far worse off than me? As our world leaders meet at Copenhagen over the next several days, I pray (yes, Jim said "pray") that some kind of meaningful change can take place in lives all over the world. I'll let the nine sets of pictures speak for themselves, but I can't help but quote Casablanca (cheesy I know, but true), "I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34114989/ns/news-picture_stories/displaymode/1247/?beginSlide=1