Monday, December 28, 2009

Stupidly Idealistic

Yesterday was my mom and dad's anniversary. 34 years of marriage! The whole family went to church together (which could be a whole other blog post, but I'll spare everyone the usual ranting) and then drove downtown to this old "tea room", also known as a restaurant. We all packed in the family van on the way there, where my brother and I were in typical form by not getting them a card or anything, whereas my sister and her hubby were right on cue with a card and some restaurant gift cards. My mom always has to read greeting cards aloud, which can be quite annoying or hilarious, depending on your mood. So as she blabbed the words of Hallmark, I decided I would recite to her and my father an original greeting card message from the heart. It went something like this...

"Dear Mom and Dad,
Even with all the bickering, nagging, growling, and grinding of teeth you two have gone through in these many years, you must have done something right in all of it, because I still have this crazy desire to spend my life with someone. So thanks for staying together.
Love,
me"

Sweet card right? My brother followed with something equally clever and witty and probably funnier, but I still like mine the most.

I know love is probably written about more than any other subject in the world, but I think it's a lot simpler than anyone really cares to realize. It's all just a choice. Sure, there's attraction and infatuation and all that other crap that comes with romantic love, or common interests and sense of humor that comes with friendship, but the bottom line is we choose who we love. You don't have to love anyone. Plenty of people don't actually "love" their families. They just say it out of obligation, or in many instances never say it at all. I daresay that I don't actually "love" all my relatives. How could I when I don't even know them? I've chosen not to be a big part of their lives and they've done the same. It's not a big deal. Of course all this choice has to be mutual to really work, which I suppose is "the hard part".

My parents are constant proof that love is a lot simpler than so many people make it out to be. My grandparents the same; They recently celebrated 70 years together (I also forgot to give them a card). All they did was make a choice to be with the other person and one year after another rolled on by. I guess they just never got so caught up on all the other stuff; the "who am I" question, the "how can I forgive them" question, the "what are we" question, the "what do you believe" question, or the other fill-in-the-blank questions.

As the Avett Brothers say... "Decide what to be and go be it."

So I say to my friends, family, and random strangers out there...

Decide who to love and go love them

1 comment:

theFiYaman said...

As they say, "You want some, I want some..."