Culture Shock...the Suburban Way

I often tell people about the culture shock I experienced in my first few years teaching in low income schools. Last night, I got to experience another kind that was equally appalling and perhaps more disturbing.

Visiting my parents over the holidays is always nice. We sit around, talk, and drink coffee. If we go out, I try to suggest a local place or something with healthy options on the menu, but most of the time we just stay in. I am quite alright with this; however, this is not the case with visiting old friends who are in town for the holidays. Since it feels too juvenile to hang out at each others' parents' houses, we go out on the town...and by town, I mean shopping centers with corporate chains and terrible food.

Last night, we went to the Town Center Mall area, now known as Kennesaw. As high schoolers, we would go there all the time until the swankier mall opened near Roswell and we decided we were a bit too cool for putt putt. There were endless options for dinner, but we ended up at what was essentially a Scottish Hooters. The name of the establishment actually sounds like a quaint little pub that might have a decent beer selection...not so fast my friend. When the doors opened, we were greeted by a panorama of cleavage and Scottish plaid attire (or lack thereof).

From the moment we stepped in the door, I felt dirty. I didn't want to look anyone in the eye. It reminded me of my friend's bachelor party and for at least 5 minutes, I couldn't stop the awkward giggles. I ordered a few $5 beers that I could have got in Athens for $3 and diverted my eyes from the obvious and pretended to be really interested in the ESPN program on the huge TV. The food was pretty awful, but it was the objectification that was really sad.

From there, we decided to go to this other "pub" by the movie theater. Pool, shuffleboard, and smoking are the real highlights of this fine establishment. We did all but the latter. As it got later, we saw the regulars driving into the massive parking lot, lighting their cigarettes as they got out of the car, probably thinking they may actually have a chance with one of the slutty waitresses. I guess it's not any different than the scene in Athens. It just seems sadder because everyone is meeting up at a strip mall bar.

Now I know I sound all high and mighty now, but I really did have a nice time catching up with friends. At some point, I just have to shrug off my pretentiousness and accept...no, more like tolerate the culture. That's all it is...a different culture. I forget about the bubble I've made for myself in Athens. I can avoid whatever I want to avoid at any time. It's really a beautiful thing, but it can also blur your vision of the rest of American culture. The suburbs are not altogether a bad place and it's not impossible to have fun here (however a lot pricier) or do good things for others. I guess I just expect more from these people (my apologies for being judgmental). So many are "educated" and enjoy very comfortable lifestyles. Do they not know how good they have it?

In the end, I shouldn't be shocked. We're not that different. Neither one of us wants to get out of that cushy bubble we've made for ourselves and admit that we're no better than the other.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Disparity in Schools, Disparity in Life

I have much more to say about this topic (believe it or not) than I will post here, but I wanted to say something about last night before my mind floats away to some other anger/sadness-inducing topic.

Of all places to go on a Friday night, I went to a high school football playoff game in Jefferson, Georgia. Though I have never been one for school spirit during any of my tenures, whether it be my own high school days, college, or teaching days, I could not help but envy the atmosphere of the Buford vs. Jefferson 2nd round playoff game. There I was, standing amongst all these high schoolers and parents, wondering why the kids here get the privilege of such a fine spirited event. Sure, it's only football, but it felt more telling of the communities as whole. It's no secret that the school I work at is outmatched in nearly every athletic contest, but more upsetting is the lack of pride that exists in every facet of school life. Are athletics the only thing that boost student morale? Surely not.

Maybe I have a skewed view on all this. Coming from an over-privileged area, I may not have realistic expectations for what a public school should provide its students. On the other hand, I may know exactly what students all over this state deserve. They are entitled to a school atmosphere that brings them a feeling of self-worth, a curriculum that can offer a variety of options for their future, teachers that actually care about their well-being, and a facility that doesn't reek of sewage each morning when walking down the main hall to the first class of the day. Unfortunately, money is the only thing that can solve a majority of these problems.

I was fortunate that my parents made sacrifices to buy a house in a school district that could offer all these things. Sure they paid more in taxes (blah, blah, blah), but what did I do to deserve any of it? I lucked out. But must it always be luck that decides each person's future? A kid can't help it if his/her parents have nothing and can only afford a broken down trailer in rural Georgia. A kid can't help it if he/she lives with a parent who abuses them. The lives they "luck" into are sad enough. If anything, they deserve more encouragement than these pampered suburban brats who drink up all their milkshakes.

We see this all over the world. I realize it's even worse in other countries. I blog about this because I see it on a daily basis, but it's in all the issues; war, slavery, education, healthcare, world hunger, etc...

Bottom line - we are all human and we are no better than one another. I wish we, myself included, would remember this simple fact more often and treat each other accordingly.

Sadness

There are a lot of loud noises coming from various rooms of my life lately.

First, there is the TV and the talking heads that scream about deathcare and communism. I've gotten into the habit of watching these shows so that I can keep up with the news and when necessary, defend myself against hateful republicans...I mean conservatives...or whatever they are these days. If I'm in a really good mood, I may even watch the FixNews and laugh at how mad they are at everyone just to pat myself on the back for not being "one of them". ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

Last night, all I could do was watch and be sad. I think at some point, that is what's underneath it all. When you stop worrying about winning arguments and being right, you realize that there is just too much sadness in the world to bear. The sadness overtakes you when you least expect it. For me, it was the statistics they were giving on homeless veterans and veterans without adequate healthcare. Most people in my circle know that I am a pacifist (or at least try to be) and would be the last person to go out and wave a flag for the armed forces, but for some reason this issue hit me smack in the gut. I guess it's because I feel so sorry for those in the military. Many are there just to mindlessly follow in the footsteps of their family. For others, their circumstances often land them in the military just to make some money for college or to get out of trouble. Regardless of their reasons, I can't fathom how our government can be all into flag waving and lapel pins when time and time again, they leave the people that serve in their immoral wars on the streets. It's all very maddening, but I'm trying not to grind my teeth (I do enough of that in my sleep). I'm just saddened by it. Overwhelmed.

The second "noisy" room for me is my school, leaving children behind left and right and in so many different ways. I could go on for days about curriculum problems and why AYP stats are ridiculous, but lately it's the apathy and the absence of love that so many children live with at home that makes me sad. It's the student with autism that stares at you blankly. It's the dyslexic kid that looks at words on a page as if they were in a different language. It's the kid that has an IQ of 60 who doesn't know why the things he repeats from his parents are so racist. It's the quiet kid who lives without a mother and doesn't know any better about hygiene, trimming his fingernails, or wearing shirts that aren't dirty undershirts. I don't know what to say sometimes. What can you say? What can you do?

Legislators want all these kids to be the same as the honors kid, to go to college, to be a "valuable" part of society. Many of their parents expect the same thing. Really? Do they not see their limitations? Do they not see the kids' eyes when they don't get trig ratios or when they feel worthless because they can't remember the most famous Byzantine emperor (as if any of it really matters). It's the eyes that tell you. Some are just completely lost. Others are just hurt. The way these kids get treated by other teachers can be really shocking. Where has empathy gone? Why flood a kid that can't read with a load of reading activities? Common sense anyone?

There's also the flipside to some of these kids. There are plenty that can do just as much as the next kid, but don't have the drive. The apathy they have for school isn't the only thing that concerns me. Instead, it's their apathy towards life. We are teaching more and more children that just don't care about anything. Anything! They would rather play childish games on the Internet than do anything of value. The helpless feeling I have around them is what depresses me. I could be the coolest teacher in the world, the most encouraging, the funniest, the most genuinely concerned, but none of that makes a difference. It's a black hole sucking every good intention out of you until you're just...sad.

The third thing that saddens me (as if there needed to be more) is coming home. When friends ask me about work, I don't really want to get into it. I just avoid the topic to avoid the underlying sadness. I suppose it's what we all do one way or another. The kid that plays the childish Internet game probably does so to avoid the sadness he/she feels when they know they can't read the assignment given to them. The apathetic kid may be coming to school just to avoid his sorry home life and secure at least 2 meals a day. The drained teacher turns on the TV to the talking heads just to avoid the real problems underneath.

Sadly, the loud noises probably never go away. We just have to surround ourselves with loved ones that drown them out. I just wish there were more of them close by.